Dealing with discomfort

As part of my job I’ve been involved in a leadership program for the last 8 or so months. This includes general self-discovery exercises to uncover leadership style and improving awareness of how I interact with others. Very useful stuff that I otherwise, solipsistic as I am, would never consider.

Recently we have been undertaking a strategic exercise. I’m not accustomed to think in broad or general terms. Software development requires me to think specifically and with defined goals. Often I have to describe multiple outcomes following branching narratives but again, these have very definite end states. As such the form is unfamiliar to me and I struggle to move away from the fixed end point to direction.

This intersects well with where I feel I am in my career. In a lot of ways I have to move away from the hard and fast, the well defined end states I can control myself, to the more general direction to suggest to others. This doesn’t come naturally as someone who has spent the last 20 years working alone or mostly alone and defining my own output, sometimes advising on what those working closely with me should be doing, but mostly acting autonomously with little regard for the input or output of others.